2005-03-12 5:31 p.m.

Fuck I was so angry my first year on my own... I was twelve and scared and acting out for attention from someone that wasn't around...I made bad choices on purpose! I'd even get pissed at myself for doing so! I thought I was so big and bad and of course I always pressed people's buttons to my chagrin and others' horror. Why do i do it?
I hate myself for hating myself so much. I'd love to punch myself in the throat and threaten myself into talking and giving myself a reason for this behavior and my embittering insecurities.

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