2003-04-29 3:32 a.m.

How do you find yourself in the middle of nowhere with thousands of filthy eyes watching your every twitch? None of these are with me at two or three in the morning when I am rocking on the floor wondering where my life went and how I wound up so alone. I lose myself in a world of electronic addiction walking the streets searching for some sign of a necessary existence while being ruled by the gods of caselogic convenience. I'm out of gas to go on. The hate bred by the fleshed disease of everyday life that fueled my life has extinguished. Let's dispense with the poetic soothings of a vocabulary that does nothing but waste breath and space. I say fuck all this shit, all the possessions, all the obsessions, fads and fashion styles. Fuck all the differences amongst us and how we seem to be infatuated by them instead of fixating ourselves on the one thing that makes us all one intrinsical part of this human race. This constant flood of idiosyncracies and philosophies and spiritualities is nauseating me. Not that you thoughtless corporate commerce driven rats who rush out to get the brand names for the sake of self esteem and social standing would have a fuckin clue what I am saying anyway. My partial mental lapses seem so trivial and ignorable with those programmed eyes that you "see" out of. But who's really seeing me????

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