2003-04-05 12:47 p.m.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington

Chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was "so profound" that

the

professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of

course,

why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

(absorbs

heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,

(gas

cools off when it expands and heats). One student wrote the following

answer: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in

time. So

we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate

they

are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to

Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how

many

souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that

exist in

the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a

member

of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one

of

these religions and since people do not belong to more than one

religion, we

can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as

they

are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase

exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because

Boyle's Law

states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay

the

same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are

added.

This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower

rate

than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and

pressure

in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is

expanding

at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the

temperature

and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we

accept

the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that: "it

will

be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account

the

fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with

her,

then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and

will

not freeze. The student received the only "A" given.

hehehe thought it was hilarious

<<< - >>>