2003-01-23 8:51 p.m.

Somebody wants to kiss me...:)

Someone's nudging to actually pour my heart out and write something good. Sometimes I just don't have anything swirling in this dinky little brain of mine... and I don't mind that.

I like when all the noises stop. No longer a chasm of writhing despair, my thoughts and spirits wander off to a quiet place; where the only things that exist: my animals, the tv, the computer, don't know how look at me with disdain, rejection, or disappointment.

That's where I live right now. It's quiet, of no real tragic consequence, and of course with no literary value either. I am revelling amidst the dreary normalcy.

I am happy. I don't spend my hours listing the thousands of reasons why I am still single and buried under an avalanche of doomed relationships. I don't choke in the lacrimal deluge brought on by my descent into homeliness. I came to rest at a garden of self awareness and take respite in a tree of self esteem and satisfaction.

Thank you though

I know you are just trying to bring out the impassioned writer in me. I'm enjoying a good change in my life. I'll come up when I want to.

Right now I want to continue to be trite and braindead.

This is after all...MY DIARY

and my fiery heart is on an extended vacation.

I will however post the last piece of genuinely beautiful writing that I have received. A young man named Pablo wrote it for me. I thank him for reminding what it feels like to have a guy truly like you.

------------------

I crawled down the tan dune,

but could not find my way.

I walked up the silk hill,

but did not know where to turn.

I ran down a smooth plain,

and could not see a thing for miles.

I looked down and saw,

brilliant swirls of brown

staring up at me.

I fall asleep only to dream

of those same hills and plains.

I begin to wonder

is this is all a maze...

but maybe I'm just lost

in your beautiful face

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